The Void Codex | Entry #0001
A field report from the department of “Why is it always spiders.”
Devoratus Animarum
Colloquial: Space Spiders, Soul-Eaters, Eight-Legged Existential Crises
SUMMARY
Deep Space Requires Better Pest Control.
Preliminary research indicates that cosmic environments are not, in fact, empty. They are teeming with things that should not have limbs, motives, or a marketing department—and yet, here we are.
OBSERVED LOCATION
Primary Region: The Void.
Secondary Incidents: Documented during high-stress meditation, failed rituals, and what the lab refers to as “unlicensed curiosity.”
Containment is difficult, as breaches appear to occur whenever someone mutters the very widely known curse: “What’s the worst that could happen?”
PRIMARY HABITAT
Interstitial nightmares. The corners you didn’t know existed. The half-second between inhale and exhale when you’re almost asleep, but the darkness feels like it’s looking back.
NOCTURNAL HAZARD INDEX
Class H (Horror):
Exposure may result in acute psychic distress, disassociation, and a general sense that you are not as alone as you were five seconds ago.
⚠️ Warning: Your panic literally attracts them. Try mindfulness, or—if that fails—brief nonexistence.
RESEARCHER
Your Narrator.
Credentials include: several bad ideas, one emergency exorcism certificate, and ongoing psychological supervision.
INITIAL NOTES
The entity Devoratus Animarum was first documented while the researcher was minding their own business and absolutely not performing any summoning rituals, intentional or otherwise. The manifestation appears to have been drawn by an unfortunate combination of curiosity, hubris, and unsupervised free time.
Preliminary analysis suggests the creatures’ entire behavioral design was finalized by a rather cruel committee (not an observation; it’s literally in the name, Cruel Committee for Theatrical Irony). The spiders consume fear for sustenance—yet the act of fearing them is precisely what summons them.
In essence, they are cosmic data brokers: every anxious thought is another location ping you didn’t consent to.
METHODOLOGY
Observations were conducted under experimental conditions best described as “screaming in a vacuum while taking notes with trembling hands.”
Attempts at maintaining objective detachment collapsed immediately upon visual contact with what experts refer to as “the teeth situation.”
shivers
The following working theory was established during the recovery period:
Hypothesis: Existence is pain.
Addendum: Especially when spiders are involved.
OBSERVATION DATA
Appearance
Arachnid-adjacent in the same way a shark is “fish-adjacent.”
Specimen size ranges from “pocket nightmare” to “I can see God’s molars.”
Limbs appear composed of polished bone or dark chitin, frequently entangled with human hair—suggesting either a lack of hygiene standards or an avant-garde fashion statement from the Void.
Mouth structure: fractal spirals of teeth and heat, arranged in a geometry that implies active malice toward orthodontists.
General Aesthetic: Etsy witch familiar meets divine punishment.
Auditory Profile
Distinguishing sounds include click-skittering on non-surfaces and a skull-vibrating hiss whenever the observer attempts escape.
If you can hear it, you are already part of the study sample. Congratulations, participant.
ABILITIES
Fear Attraction:
They detect panic the way sharks detect blood—and they’re hungrier.
Pursuit:
They chase whatever runs. The recommended survival technique is not running.
Alternate strategies include: power-posing, pretending to check your email, or suddenly remembering you left the stove on in another dimension.
Void Traversal:
Navigates non-Euclidean space as effortlessly as you navigate your kitchen at 3 a.m.—bumping into everything but still somehow finding the snacks.
Summoning:
Known triggers include strong emotions, bad rituals, and unlicensed astrology apps. Side effects may include irreversible dread and a newfound respect for fireproof salt circles.
CONFIRMED WEAKNESSES
Psychic Dominance:
Specimens retreat when confronted by a mental broadcast equivalent to “GET OFF MY LAWN.”
Cosmic predators dislike confident boundaries and homeowners’ associations.
Boredom Field:
Projecting thoughts of tax forms, printer error codes, or your ex’s podcast may disrupt their sensory focus.
Effectiveness unverified but deeply satisfying.
UNCONFIRMED WEAKNESSES
Mint:
Unproven. Originated from anecdotal survivor commentary. Nevertheless, travel with Altoids. Science demands sacrifices—and fresh breath.
Light:
Possible aversion noted. Correlation may stem less from photosensitivity and more from shared aesthetic disdain for ring lights.
CONCLUSION
The Devoratus Animarum are not your friends.
They feed on terror, guilt, and that fleeting instant when you realize the universe might actually be an unpaid internship—and you’re the intern who keeps refilling the coffee pot of despair.
Current recommendations for survival are as follows:
Transcend fear entirely. (If you achieve enlightenment, please report back so we can all unsubscribe from anxiety.)
Channel dormant god-energy.
Remember: you contain multitudes. Some of them might even have smiting privileges.Feign stability until they get bored and leave.
Works surprisingly well on both Void entities and customer service reps.
Results not guaranteed. Warranties Void (pun intended).
Further study will be conducted exclusively by volunteers from the free subscriber tier, because my therapist says—and I quote—
“You are not allowed near pentagrams OR portals. Anymore. Ever again.”
[End Compendium Entry // Filed under “Reasons to Stay on This Plane.”]
There will be many more of these entries. For… reasons.
Let’s just call it a project, capital P.
Leave your theories—and your personal Void encounter stories—below.
If you guess what the project is before I announce it, I can neither confirm nor deny your psychic powers.
Until the next anomaly,
—Your Narrator
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Even reading this made me shiver. But oh I loved the humour. Excellent.