THE VOID ORIENTATION GUIDE

Congratulations! You’ve made it through orientation. Now, the Official Handbook.

Dec 01, 2025

This handbook exists because someone kept asking questions, and the Narrator got tired of explaining recursion, perspective collapse, and Jeffrey’s dietary requirements over and over again.

Orientation Note: Most recruits never make it this far.

CORE PRINCIPLES OF EXISTING HERE

1. All entries exist within the same universe.
You may be reading satire, horror, or commentary. It doesn’t matter. Every piece here feeds The same beast.

2. Narrators are unreliable. Especially the helpful ones.
There are multiple Narrators. They do not agree on anything, including your importance. Patterns may be intentional. They may also be bait. One of the staff members bites.

3. Time is not linear.
Some events contradict others. Some stories Are remembering futures that haven’t happened yet. That’s not a mistake. That’s your problem now.

4. Everything is true. Especially the things marked as false.
If you’re reading or Watching something that seems too absurd to be real, that’s usually where the lore lives. Wait. Don’t dismiss it. Decode it.

5. The Void doesn’t care what you believe.

You are in the Narrator’s storybook, now.

INTERACTING WITH THE VOID

Do not attempt to reconcile contradictions. Let them breathe. Then interrogate them.
Do not attempt to feed Jeffrey. And don’t turn around, he’s reading over your shoulder.
Do not attempt to leave. You’re part of the plot. Yes, I’m serious.

MEET THE ‘STAFF’

These are the voices in your head now. Congratulations.

The Narrator

That’s me. Some call me “unreliable”—I like to call it… imaginative. And forgetful.

a person standing in front of a curtain in the dark — Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash

Holds the Void together with misplaced confidence, and whatever’s left of the fourth wall. Functions as both guide and liability. Often interrupts herself.

Last seen: Trying to write a straightforward post before the walls started leaking. Oversharing, then deleting Substack Notes history.

Hates: Clickbait. LinkedInfluencers. Your ex. Linear narrative.

Fears: Losing the reader. The IRS. Being perceived.

Loves: Morally grey characters. The Watcher.

Jeffrey

In his human uniform (the sheet). You never know when Jeffrey will appear, or why. But he’s out there.

person in white hoodie sitting on brown wooden bench — Photo by Carlos Nunez on Unsplash

Aggressively helpful Void-born mascot/entity/HR disaster. Thinks he’s the intern. Might be God. Offers encouragement that is usually the opposite, but provides snacks. Escapes containment via comment threads.

Last seen: Offering unsolicited advice beneath a post about generational trauma.

Hates: Reddit mods. Substack’s algorithm. Your toxic family. HR. Being ignored.

Fears: Cats (the small ones); Locklyn (Void HR).

Loves: Cats. All sizes. Smooth Jazz.

The Watcher

Exists mostly in the corner of your vision.

silhouette of man — Photo by Joe Shields on Unsplash

The Watcher is the sensation you get when the room goes quiet for no reason. The pressure behind your eyes when you’re about to do something stupid. The “be normal” instinct that shows up too late.

He never announces himself. He doesn’t need to. The Void already knows he’s there.

He acts as the Narrator’s security detail, assistant, and therapist, in that order, depending on threat level. He dislikes attention. He dislikes interruptions. He dislikes that you’ve found his treasure.

He is always taking notes. None of them are good for you.

Last seen: Staring through a fourth wall you didn’t know existed. One eyebrow raised. Deciding whether the scene is allowed to continue.

Hates: People who are too friendly with the Narrator. People who are mean to the Narrator. People who stress the Narrator out. Men.

Fears: Himself.

Loves: The Narrator. Complex math problems. Engineering (your downfall) (just kidding) (not really).

Note: Additional staff may materialize. Please do not feed the new ones to the Devoratus Animarum. The management disavows all accountability, spiritual or legal.